Okay, I know that this thing is baaaddd. You know what, Im jealous. Okay, eff me. :(  I saw their pictures a while ago and it was like Earth fell on me without knowing Im under her gravity. My heart is melting now, ugghh, I think its frozen not melting. Gawd! what will i do? Im soo close to depression but I dont want to. Ughh, wasted life. :( Yes, Im affected. what more can I say? Why am I affected, we are not commited btw? Dont ask. I felt strange also. :|

      Yeah, right. If my parents will see this blog post.. this might be the end of my wasted life. Good for me? not so. I still look for the brighter side of my life :) Im trying to be happy kya. Im happy naman a while ago its just when I saw those damn pictures. I dont know what's your plan God, but is it right that you would hurt me in that way? or you just wanna take me to a clear realization of my life? I know I shouldnt act like this. But what can I do? Im soo tired of this game. Waited for 2 years, blah. Just drop it. If i have waited for two years, why cant I make it 4,8 or 10. What if I got tired? What if it didnt came the way I see it? What if he didnt find me at all? What if he cant remember me? What if after all the happy moments that I thought Im with him is not really him? So many what ifs but I cant find the right answer. Im too young for love and too old for games.

     What else? Nothing. Im hella stupid. I cant find the logic. God placed our heart under our mind so our mind is the superior. Eff..eff..eff. So it means that I should decide first If I had a better heart than a better mind? What the? Okay, this thing is pointless so I'll just drop it and trust in destiny and with God. All things will surely fall on their right place. I hope.